Years ago on a “Saturday Night Live” skit, the late Phil Hartman played a doctor who had delivered more than 4,000 babies over a 20-year career and they shared a common, remarkable trait.
They were all girls.
In the skit, which we have embedded at the bottom here, Hartman explained to a reporter that roughly half the time – “48, 49, 50, 51%, in that area” – a newborn needed a “special” operation. “Every now and then, a little girl is born with a penis and testicles. And, of course, they have to be removed and reshaped,” the doctor explained.
Today, a Portland children’s hospital shows that life now imitates art.
According to recent media reports, Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland, which is a pediatric teaching hospital and bills itself as the “top-ranked” children’s hospital in Oregon, offered a guide on the art of “tucking.”
The hospital defines tucking as “moving the penis, testicles, or both out of the way.”
“This makes the genital area look smoother and flatter,” a hospital handout explains. “Tucking can reduce any concerns you have about your body, how your clothes fit and how safe you feel in public.”
“People of all genders can tuck,” the document adds. Although it would seem that only half the population – those with a “penis, testicles, or both” – are the ones uniquely qualified to tuck.
The hospital also indicated that “several different” methods of tucking exist and notes that there are two main ways to tuck: “with tape and without.”
“You might find that simply wearing tight underwear smooths things out enough. Or you might want to use tape for as smooth a look as possible,” the flyer says.
If you don’t opt for tape, the hospital helpfully adds that one should “look for a tightly woven spandex or microfiber blend,” such as Spanx, control top pantyhose or tights, or even a gaff, which is defined as “a special type of underwear made specifically for tucking.”
The hospital also includes a step-by-step tucking guide as well as a handy set of possible retailers who sell tucking gear, including a place called SheBop, which it describes as a “sex-positive shop” in Portland that also happens to offer “gender-affirming clothing” and “sex toys, videos and more.”
SheBop is intended for people 18 and older, the hospital notes. But it will provide shopping opportunities either before or after hours for “younger shoppers.”
The hospital also provides guidance on puberty blockers for “people with testicles” and “people with ovaries,” as well as a handout for “chest binding,” which may be considered above-the-waist tucking for “people with ovaries.”
The conservative social media account Libs of Tik Tok spotlighted Doernbecher Children’s Hospital guidelines.
Conservative commentator Jesse Kelly was among those who responded on Twitter.
“This is why I laugh when people on either side talk about ‘healing the divide’ or ‘“calming things down.’ I want to be divided from these people. As far as the East is from the West. I want the divide,” said Kelly.
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How is this nor charged as child sex crimes?