POLK COUNTY, Fla. – You’ve heard the jingle: “We know a thing or two, because we’ve seen a thing or two.” Well, the Polk County Sheriff’s Office could probably sue for royalties at this point.
But a recent stop on Interstate 4 might just take the cake—or, in this case, the porcelain throne.
During the Polk County Sheriff’s Morning Briefing, Sheriff Grady Judd shared the story of Matthew Swann, a motorist who decided that the speed limit was merely a suggestion. Deputies clocked Swann flying down I-4 at 120 mph in a 70 mph zone. When the lights flashed and he finally pulled over, Swan didn’t go for the usual “I didn’t realize how fast I was going.”
Instead, he looked the deputy dead in the eye and played the medical card. According to Judd, Swan claimed he had Crohn’s disease and was in a desperate rush to “drop the kids at the pool.” Judd even doubled down with a “taking the Browns to the Super Bowl” reference.
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Creative? Sure. Effective? Not so much.
Judd wasn’t buying the sudden onset of gastrointestinal distress as a license to endanger lives. “None of that was true,” the Sheriff remarked during the briefing, noting that Swann’s urgent appointment turned out to be a fabrication.
The result was classic Polk County justice. Swann didn’t get a police escort to the nearest restroom; he got a ride to the county jail.
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