In a political spectacle that could only happen in Florida, the Republican Party has offered to lend a hand (and a few snarky suggestions) to John Morgan, the mega-attorney who recently spoke on socialism and floated the idea of a new political party.
At a Capital Tiger Bay Club event on Wednesday, Morgan said, “There is nothing wrong with the concept of socialism,” and even suggested it had “a lot of good things.”
Naturally, this declaration landed with all the grace of a flamingo in a hurricane for the Florida GOP.
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Republican Party of Florida Chairman Evan Power, clearly unimpressed, retorted, “Let’s be real, John: you can’t slap a new label on the same failed ideas and expect a revival. If it quacks like a duck, it’s still a duck—and you’re still a Democrat. Florida doesn’t want what you’re selling. We hear you’ve got offices in Massachusetts—maybe it’s time to pack up and take your political fantasies north.”
Power pointed out that Morgan’s supposed “new” values already had plenty of homes: the Democrat Party, the Socialist Party, and, for good measure, “yes, even the Green Party.”
“John Morgan knows the Democrat and Socialist parties can’t thrive in the Free State of Florida. Many Floridians have fled the very systems he praises, seeking liberty and opportunity here. You can’t rename failed ideas and expect Floridians to embrace them with open arms,” Power continued.
Morgan then clarified that “we all just need to remember we are on the same team.” To which the Florida GOP responded with a resounding, “Nope!”
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“We’re not on the same team,” Power declared. “The Republican Party of Florida is committed to keeping Florida the freest state in the nation, defending our Constitution, and keeping socialism out of leadership.”
But, ever the helpful bunch, the Florida GOP decided to turn Morgan’s political goals into a good old-fashioned naming contest. They’ve launched a website, florida.gop/morgans-party, inviting voters to submit names for Morgan’s “new” socialist-loving party.
“John may not be on our team, but maybe we can help him name his new one,” Power quipped, clearly relishing the opportunity to troll the prominent attorney.
To get the creative juices flowing, the Florida GOP offered a few suggestions of its own: “United Ambulance Chasers, The Puff and Pay Party, or The Blunt Redistribution Party.”
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